Hug Them Anyway

I'm not exactly a hugger —and I'm totally okay with that (insert my friends and family behind me nodding).

I tell my preteens and teens in front of my camera that it's perfectly fine if they aren't big on hugs either, and they don’t ever have to be... EXCEPT for today for one hour ;-).

When my families are in from of me I always ask the parents to hug the kids, and then usually to kiss them on the head or cheek. Sometimes they pull their head away from the kiss, but NOT ONE SINGLE preteen/teen has ever pulled away from the hug.

This mad me do a little digging and here is what I found:

Benefits of hugging your kids:

• Enhanced Emotional Bonding & Secure Attachment
  Regular hugs foster a secure bond between parent and child. Scientific research shows that physical affection helps build secure attachment and emotional regulation (Ainsworth et al., 1978). In a Christian context, this nurturing touch mirrors the unconditional love God has for us, as explained in Tedd Tripp’s Shepherding a Child's Heart: How God’s Love Shapes Our Children’s Lives.

• Reduction in Stress and Anxiety
  Hugs release oxytocin—a “love hormone”—that lowers cortisol levels, reducing stress and promoting calm (Field, 2010). This calming effect not only benefits physical well-being but also reflects the comforting embrace of God’s care (Focus on the Family).

• Promotion of Emotional, Social, and Spiritual Development
  Frequent affectionate touch supports brain development by encouraging neural connections and healthy stress responses (Feldman, 2007). Simultaneously, these moments of closeness foster spiritual growth by modeling the unconditional, Christ-like love that is central to Christian parenting (The 5 Love Languages of Children by Chapman and Campbell).

• Modeling Unconditional Love
  Hugs provide a tangible way to express unconditional love in the home. They serve as a real-life demonstration of the love and reinforce values of acceptance and care. FamilyLife says that these everyday moments can help children internalize a sense of belonging and divine love.

• Building Resilient Hearts for Life’s Challenges
  Scientific studies indicate that regular physical affection can boost self-esteem and overall well-being, helping children build resilience (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010). Coupled with a foundation of faith, these nurturing experiences empower children to navigate life’s difficulties with confidence and trust in God’s plan.

So here’s my two cents: whether your kid is a born hugger or not, go ahead and give them that little squeeze. It doesn't have to be long or overly tight—a quick side hug can shout a huge "I Love You" without saying a word.